Real Life, Real Problems

When I originally came up with the idea for this post, I had intentions of writing a truly helpful piece for soon-to-be college graduates centered around real life experiences. However, in order to write this post I had to turn to some friends of mine who, unlike myself, have already graduated & are currently in the first few adulting years of their lives… & my vision of creating something (semi-) serious yet practical quickly went out the window. Their responses—although honest & much appreciated (seriously, thanks guys)—were blunt, humorous, insightful, & a true indication that a college degree only prepares you for about 10% of your future. (Kinda reminds me of the way high school “prepares” you for college… as in not at all.) The other 90% is left up to you to navigate & the world won’t stop & wait while you stumble through life, attempting to figure it all out.

So here are some of the things they had to say about graduating, lessons they’ve learned in the year(s) since, & the rules of the real world:

(& I promise these are actual conversations that took place between us. I couldn’t make some of this stuff up if I tried)

“Real life sucks. Bills suck.”

“Having to move back home for a bit especially while in school isn’t the worst thing (because no bills…)”

“Travel while you’re still young & unattached.”

“Rent is expensive.”

“Living with your parents is really not fun”

“The biggest bummer for real is not being close to all your friends”

“Don’t open a credit card unless you can actually pay it off.” “Nah credit cards are still necessary even when you’re balance is tipping $1000.” “Yeah, I take that back. Open a credit card specifically for travel.”

“Student loans blow. Living with your parents blows. Living at least 4 hours from everyone you graduated with blows. Don’t graduate.” cat pic

“Move somewhere with friends or get a job at a big company. Life after college sucks everyday because it feels so lonely…& I live by friends & it still feels that way. But being two hours closer to my family is the best thing in the world”

“Don’t get a roommate. Seriously. Work already puts you in a bad mood, then coming home to someone leaving a cereal bowl in the living room makes you want to cry & claw her eyes out.”  “Especially when it’s dog shit… Just casual shit laying on the ground”

“Don’t get a dog unless you can take care of it too… cuz that’s rude”

“Being positive in the workplace will make other people positive & overall you’ll have a way better atmosphere (intern observation)”

“WEAR YOUR RETAINERS.”

“Save money & make a budget. Figure out what’s important to splurge on & where you can save. & if you don’t have credit start building some.”

“Spend more than $5 on wine because #adult”

“Dating is harder than in college cuz you’re not meeting people all the time. Tinder just makes me sad.”  IMG_2040

“Staying at home (as much as it sucks) helps so much to start saving money, especially if you want to move to a big city.”

 

“Sitting at a desk all day is super unhealthy. Keeping connected with friends & having good relationships is super important but really difficult. Not learning something new everyday actually sucks. I didn’t realize how much I learned going to classes & now I’m just kind of doing the same thing every day. Doesn’t seem right.”

“Make a money plan right away & stick to it. Have goals for yourself on how much you want to save (open a savings account right away if you don’t have one) by the end of 6 months, a year, etc.”

“I’m gonna throw this out again real quick… DON’T GET A ROOMMATE YOU’VE NEVER LIVED WITH”

“You have to use your time so wisely because work is basically all of your time & it leaves me actually depressed every night because this is the rest of my life… Also, I have no idea how people have full time jobs & kids at the same time… blows my mind.”  “People in my class also work & have kids, uhh I barely have time to cook my own dinner”

“Just going to bars isn’t really fun. Work isn’t challenging & the weekends are the only time you can really be curious about new things & try them & learn.” “And you realize how lame you are. I literally never go out because I am too lazy to go all the way downtown (20 minute drive) & I would see my high school teachers at bars here” adult pic2

“Understand rent takes all your money. Literally all of it. You get paid to pay your rent as shitty as that sounds. What’s left over is yours to a) save b) feed yourself c) enjoy yourself. Have a budget to spend on yourself because life is about living & you can’t sit at home alone on your days off!”

“But having an income with nothing you really need to spend it on gives you unrealistic views of life post-grad”

“Med school isn’t as fun as undergrad. It’s a lot of teachers tearing you down & putting you in your place. Super delayed gratification. Also just living on loans feels like Monopoly money that you can just spend because you have it but that’s bad. If you want to be humbled go to med school”  “…also I’ve started thinking in bullet points cause who has time for complete sentences”

“On a positive note about the real world, I’ve found it to be a lot more freeing. In turn I am like 1000x less stressed & can actually focus on things that make me happier! It’s a cool thing to work & get paid & then pay your taxes (as much as I hate them) & rent & realize you have control over everything. It’s 100% your life & your money & you don’t have to depend on anyone else. To finally feel like an adult & know you can somehow pull off survival in the real world is cool.”

“It feels like there is more freedom to let go of things that don’t serve you… I wish pole dancing wasn’t frowned upon though”

“Take a year off after graduation because the real world is always gonna be there waiting.”

“Pull a Carol & don’t adult in America too soon.”

 

Even though these weren’t the responses of wildly successful millennials who have somehow figured out ways to beat the system that is essentially unbeatable, it is my hope that you can take away at least one thing from them…

I don’t really know what that one thing would be so you’ll have to figure it out for yourself, just like every other adult in this world, but good luck!

 

adult pic

Somewhere Between Here & There

When you’re a college student, especially one approaching the long-awaited finish line, your life is not measured in minutes, hours, days, & weeks, but classes, exams, finals, & semesters instead. These last 16 weeks (as you may have guessed from my complete lack of posting since July) have been the most overwhelming & trying weeks of my college career as well as my life.

I went from living with 10 of my best friends in a cramped & noisy convent (literally) to living with only one of them in a nice, clean, & eerily quiet apartment. I somehow found myself enrolled in 19 hours (see: horrible decision #183651), & what better time to begin panicking about applying to graduate school & obtaining a nearly perfect GRE score than on a day when you have four exams, a paper, & 7 hours of class?

I swear my brain is wired this way…

  1. Act as though everything is casual & progressing at an appropriate rate, no matter the reality of the situation
  2. Live carefree & convince yourself that you have this whole adult thing handled. “Pshht. Who said college was hard?”
  3. Wake up (late, of course) on the busiest Monday of the semester & suddenly realize you forgot about two research papers, a group project meeting, feeding your friends turtle, paying your utility bill, & finishing that thing for work you promised to do a week & a half ago
  4. COMPLETELY. FREAK. OUT.

 

Anyone else out there have a self-destructive subconscious that decides to manifest at the worst possible time? Really hoping I’m not alone on this one.

If there was anything that this semester taught me, it was that working smarter rather than harder, is crucial to achieving success in any facet of life & sadly, it is a talent that I do not possess. I learned to never underestimate the true value of “me time” & of getting more than two hours of sleep a night. I learned that more espresso doesn’t always equal more happiness (this one really hit me hard) & that I don’t ever want to be the smartest person in a room.

I discovered that perfection really is just an idea & a trap that should be avoided, especially by extremely high-anxiety individuals like myself. As Millennials, we have tendency to strive for & expect perfection, no matter how impossible it truly may be. I’m admittedly one of the worst when it comes to this, but when I find myself trying to do it all & repeatedly falling on my face,  I remember something my dad used to say: “Pick your battles, Jessica.” Granted, he would usually say this when I wanted to argue about diminutive discrepancies in order to avoid discussing the big issue at hand, but I believe it’s applicable nonetheless.

Now that I’m older, I take this saying to mean something a little more. Why should we aim to be good at everything instead of focusing on being absolutely phenomenal at one thing? I truly admire people that want to do it all & I fully acknowledge that a select few individuals actually can do it all. But at what point do we stop living for the recognizable success or the stories we’ll be able to tell, should we slow down long enough to share them, & start living for our own personal happiness?  When it comes to achieving our goals, when did what we get become more important than what we become? If we become exceptional in a field that we’re truly passionate about as an individual, won’t the other aspects of our life just kind of fall into place?

I can’t answer any of those because I have yet to become phenomenal or exceptional at anything, but for now that’s what I’m telling myself-that it’ll all work out. 

This blog is titled Twenty-Something & Trying because that’s honestly all I am at the moment, & I mean that in the best, most forward-looking way. I have no degree other than high school, I have no credentials, awards, achievements, or letters after my name, & I have no career or accomplished long-term goals to hang my hat on.

I intend to work excitedly toward obtaining all of those things along with much much more in the upcoming years, but for now I think I’ll just appreciate the time I have left being caught somewhere between here & there.

 

Trying Something New

Change is not something I usually run to and embrace with open arms, but the least I can do is try right? My life as a college student has been filled with friends, fun, laughter, and quite a few Bud Lights to say the least. These last three years have been the best years of my life but now, as I begin to think about graduating, applying to graduate school, and essentially “growing up”, I can’t help but to feel nervous excitement and terror all at once.

This blog is a way for me to write about the new experiences, people, and interests I encounter throughout this transitional period in my life. If I know myself and my luck, I can promise you that Murphy’s Law will most definitely begin to take affect right as I’m finally pulling myself together. So stay tuned because this blog may just give you the dose of humor you’re looking for or even reaffirm every preconceived notion you’ve ever had about a 21 year old girl getting her feet wet in the sea of life.